During the process of my son Bug being diagnosed, I will filling out different check lists. As I was filling out these check lists, I realized how many things applied to me. They always say autism has a genetic component. I thought if Bug gets a diagnosis, I should too.
Time went on, I took Bug to a neurologist, did everything needed and Bug got his diagnosis. It took about six months. Soon after he received his diagnosis, I started doing research. I found the “normal therapy” I received as a child was ABA. When they suggested it to me I told them to go fly a kite. He is not a dog and will not be treated as such. He will not know the PTSD I had become so acquainted with!
Doctors Told me to Abort Bug
I want to pause here. I never MOURNED the son I was “meant to have.” If it was up to the perinatologist, I would have aborted him because he had soft markers for Downs Syndrome. When I declined an amniocentesis he offered abortion. I never went back. Mourning a child you think you deserve does not do anyone any good and can cause A LOT OF HARM.
Seeking My Own Diagnosis
During my research I found out that adults have to go to a neuropsychiatrist. It was very hard to find one on market place insurance but I found one!
When it was time for the appointment, I brought with me my 28 page ADHD evaluation from when I was 6. I knew a lot of times autistic girls in the 80’s were misdiagnosed with ADHD, if at all.
The doctor looked over the evaluation, it was very detailed. He asked me “Why weren’t you dual diagnosed?” He also was not sure to have me diagnosed as Aspergers Syndrome or just Austim Spectrum “Difference (I sub this because I am not disordered).”
The reason for this is I was preverbal until I was 5 but everything else was just like Aspergers Syndrome. He decided just ASD. One year later AS was eliminated as a diagnosis so it did not matter anyway.
When I was handed my diagnosis, I felt very relieved. There was a reason I am different and I do the things I do. It confirmed what I had suspected for years.
Journey Into Advocacy
Soon after, I was rescued from the martyr mom group by a good friend of mine Emma Dalmayne. I am very thankful she had me see the light.
It is not all sunshine and rainbows. I have my difficulties and so does everyone else. My difficulties are my own. I would never want to be neurotypical if I had the choice. Being autistic is who I am.
Before you say “Its just a label, you can’t get services now.” I say that its not a label, its a recognition and identity. Its a recognition that I belong to an outstanding group of people. I finally belong somewhere.
This started the inspiration to be an advocate. I love every second of it. I save local kids from mistreatment by educating parents and reporting the parents who a committing abuse. I speak at a comic con in Miami once a year.