Adult Autistic Meltdown today: an Inside Look

I try to use my personal experiences to educate you guys. Today there was one. Its been an extremely long time since I had one last. I am going to explain what happened leading up to the meltdown and how it affected me.

So yesterday, I was at a dog job and I was walking up and walked past a downed branch. I had a thorn stuck in my big toe. I pulled it out and thought nothing of it. I continued to take the dog out for a walk.

A few hours later, it started to swell and become red. I waited a few more hours and went to the emergency room. After local anesthetic and the doctor digging at it, she was only able to remove a small piece. She was really nice about it, went slow with me and explained everything as she was doing it. She sent me home with antibiotics and pain medication. She told me to follow up with a podiatrist. I got home, I was acting funny because I have low tolerance for pain medication. It was funny. I went to bed soon after my goofy behavior.

This morning when the podiatrist opened that takes my insurance, takes my phone call. I schedule an appointment. It was good, I was just about to leave. I get another call. “You are delinquent in your insurance payment but you are active. You will have to be self pay.” I get paid this Friday and was going to pay it then. That was not good enough. My roommate paid me rent early and I got the premium paid and I showed up.

I get there, they give me a hard time about my insurance and how I had to pay my coinsurance right then and there. They could not tell me what it was. I was started to panic about that and in the waiting room. It was full of people with diabetic foot problems. Most of my followers are aware but I have a type one diabetic son and I had images in my head of him having these issues. He has excellent control but I was not having rational thought.

After a while I get called back, the doctor squeezes the toe that hurts. He said he has to make sure there is something stuck. The doctor at the ER could not pull it out. It was definitely there. Then they contact the insurance and say I have to pay them or it has to stay in my foot. I do not have enough money so I went back in the car. My car is a safe space. Many ausitics view their car as a safe space.  I was trying to calm myself down. Then I get a phone call from my husband that he needs the vaccination records for my daughter.

I felt like the world was crashing down. I had no control over anything. Everything seemed brighter or louder. All sounds were more complex. Sensory overload took over. I started hearing colors and seeing sounds. It was scary. My skin and ears literally were in pain. My eye were burning.  I was in tears, rocking back and forth. I was trying to calm myself down. I was by myself because my husband was with the kids.  It took a good 45 minutes. Meldowns are not a thing that we as Autistics enjoy.

Please be understanding when your child has a meltdowns. They cannot hear you most of the times because senses are hightened. Please make sure you are there for them anyway they need. Help them through it. Thank you for reading.

3 thoughts on “Adult Autistic Meltdown today: an Inside Look

  1. Understand this completely. For me it doesn’t even have to be big things, just little things that NT’s would just find slightly annoying. It builds and builds until something really insignificant happens and I’m gone. I try to get somewhere quiet, away from people, the car is good and I scream! I scream as loud as I can. If that’s not enough I hit things, including myself, or bite things and rock. All my life I have rocked, very violently as a child. Of course as an adult in an NT world you can’t be seen to rock, so I do it in private. But hanging on until I can get somewhere private is exhausting and diminishes my ability to think or act on anything. This makes people think you are stupid, but they just don’t understand the turmoil going on in your head, it makes any rational thought impossible


  2. Pingback: Rebuttal: Dr Dinesh Bhugra: My Fear Over 'neurodivergent' Tik Tok stars who make ADHD and autism seem cool → Fierce Autie

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