Fake pregnancy announcements are not “Autism Awareness”

Recently it came to my attention that a new “autism awareness challenge” has started in the form of chain statuses on Facebook.

The idea of it is to post one of these and pass on the chain to the person who comments or likes your status.
It is:
😂You shouldn’t have liked or commented on my last status. Now you have to pick from one of the below and post it as your status. This is the 2020 Autism Awareness game. Don’t be a spoil sport. Pick your poison from one of these and post it as your status.
1. Just found a squirrel in my car!
2. Just used my kids to get out of a speeding ticket.
3. How do you get rid of foot fungus?
4. All of my bras are missing!
5. I think I just accepted a marriage proposal online?!
6. I’ve decided to stop wearing underwear.
7. It’s confirmed I’m going to be a mommy/daddy.
8. Just won a chance audition on America’s got talent!
9. I’ve been accepted on master chef.
10. I’m getting a pet monkey!
11. I just peed myself!
12. Really thinking about getting butt implants!
13. Just won 700 on a scratcher!
14. We’re moving to Vermont at the end of the year!
15. Mayonnaise on Reese’s peanut butter cups is sooo good!
16. I’ve just been accepted on come dine with me whoop whoop.
Post with no explanations. Sorry, I fell for it too. Looking forward to your post. Ahhh don’t ruin it. (Don’t let the secret out). And remember it’s all for the 2020 Autism Awareness. Have fun! 🙂 
All of these are nonsense except for one. This one can be very hurtful for the autistic community. It is “It’s confirmed I’m going to be a mommy/daddy
Everyone knows fake pregnancy announcements can be hurtful. A comorbidity with being autistic is Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. People  with PCOS there is usually infertility. Someone who has not gone through this will not know the heart ache, heart break, hope that gets shot down, etc of trying to unsuccessfully have their own baby.
This part harms autistics.

My Story

I have never been public about this story before in detail. Take care in reading it.
I met Nick when I was in college. We got engaged soon after we met and married 4 years later. We decided to save ourselves until marriage so there would be no issues with us being parents and not married. Our plan was to conceive a baby on our wedding night.
That did not happen.
With each pregnancy test, there was anticipation, hopefulness and heartbreak. I could not depend on a missed period as confirmation. I had irregular periods my whole life.
After a few months I got pregnant. We had two miscarriages in a row. The OB/GYN at the time yelled at me for crying because I could always “have more babies.” I never went back to her. She had no empathy and that’s the last thing I needed.
Hearing that news, my heart sank. Am I broken? All i wanted was a baby. I wanted to stop the cycle of abuse in my family. How was I supposed to do that if I can’t teach the next generation how to treat people?
After trying more times and getting negative ovulation test results, I decided to go to a doctor. A reproductive endocrinologist.
They did an internal ultrasound and told me I have PCOS  They looked at my ovaries and said instead of ovulating, the egg was not maturing properly and instead became a cyst that sat on my ovary. In her exact words “your ovaries look like they are dressed up for a fancy party. They have a pearl necklace.” This did answer some questions.
Soon after this I was scheduled for a DNC. This is a surgery to clean out my uterus after the past two miscarriages and to see how flexible my Fallopian tubes were.
After I was healed from surgery, fertility treatment would begin. I was prescribed an ovulation inducer called Clomid. This would force my body to ovulate to promote a viable pregnancy. I was also given progesterone injections to help keep a pregnancy viable. With PCOS, I have low progesterone.
With this treatment, sex had to be scheduled. Before we did the act, I had to go to the doctor for an ultrasound to be sure I was ovulating. It took the spontaneity out of our marriage while we were trying. It was for a good cause.
About two weeks later, I was scheduled for another ultrasound to be sure there was a successful pregnancy. Because PCOS affects hormones, a false negative pregnancy test is always possible. Home pregnancy tests check the amount of pregnancy hormone in the urine.
I was indeed pregnant. Not only was I pregnant but we were having twins. We were overjoyed! We were at a point where we thought this would not be possible.
The doctor prescribed me progesterone injections to keep the pregnancy viable. It was hard to do the injections but I had the end goal in mind. Two beautiful babies to call my own.
Months went by and we were planning our move to Florida because in upstate NY there was not a lot of opportunity. We were making plans for the long distance mode.
Before we left New York, we found out the babies were a boy and a girl. Fraternal twins.
A few weeks before the move, I was bleeding. I went to labor and delivery. There were no heartbeats and they had to induce labor. The babies were 30 weeks and perfect. That was one of the hardest experiences I ever had to go through. Feeling the effects of labor knowing I would  not be taking these babies home.
A few weeks went by and we were in Florida. My grandmother used to live in this same area in Florida and her old Ob/gyn also specialized in infertility. He prescribed me clomid and like clockwork, I was pregnant with Roo.
This pregnancy was a typical one but I was traumatized by my past experiences. The doctor had an after hours urgent line and told me to call if I had any concerns. He also referred me out to a perinatologist, which is a high risk specialist.
At the end of the pregnancy, I lost my mucus plug and I blood. I was so hysterical, Nick called the doctor. He said it was just the mucus plug but go to Labor and delivery. Roo was born 2 days early.
Why did I tell this story? I did so because people do not think fake pregnancy announcements are harmful. Think about someone with my experience or worse experiences. Think about how this Woolf affect us.
This awareness challenge harms autistics and needs to stop.

One thought on “Fake pregnancy announcements are not “Autism Awareness”

  1. Pingback: Celebrating Woman’s Day by Smashing Gender Roles - Fierce Autie

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