Friend from Long Ago
I was sent away to camp a lot as a child so my parents wouldn’t have to deal with me. When Girl Scout came was over, I was sent to day camp for the rest of the year. Back when I was a young child, I guess around 8 because it was a long time ago I met Jena. We were in the same group and in drama I remember people saying a lot of bad stuff about her and I knew how that felt. It wasn’t for the same reason and me but no one deserves that.
We started to get to know each other and I started to go to her house on some weekends for sleepovers. It was a great escape from my family life and they had a Nintendo Entertainment System that I was not allowed to have. I got to play Yoshi and Super Mario Land 3, my two favorite games.
We became quite close, I went to Girl Scouts with some of her classmates. We continued to see each other until I left for college.
Disconnected and then Reconnected Again
We lost contact but we reconnected through Facebook. We started talking daily. It was great. She had two dogs and she could not afford to take them to a vet. I helped her with doses of OTC medication that was routinely given to dogs for GI issues and her dog felt better. She even told me I saved her dog. She was convinced that Vets offices are all scams. I kept my thoughts to myself because I did not want to start a fight.
Difference of Opinion Went Bad
A few years later, Bug was diagnosed with autism and I connected with the autistic community because I suspected that I too might be autistic. Getting an evaluation was near impossible because my parents did not want to participate. Years later, I had my ADHD evaluation from when I was 6 which had all my milestones in it which helped with diagnosis. I digress.
We had this conflict less than a month after Nick and I gained custody of J, A and D. We were getting adjusted financially and logistically.
After being immersed and accepted by the autistic community, I made a Facebook post that said something like:
Parents of autistic kids are not super parents, they are just parents
Jena who had no children at all had an issue with it. Several of my new friends from the autistic community tried to educate her but she didn’t want to hear it. Parenting is hard and all children need to be loved and accepted for who they are. This isn’t hard, right?
She chose the fact that they are super parents as a hill to die on.
She got angry that my new friends came out to educate her. During the start of it, I had to go to work. At the time I was working for an animal hospital and worked 12 hour shifts. While I was gone, my friends continued to try to educate her. I thank you all for it.
When I came home I found that she had blocked me. She said she never wanted to hear from me again. Not only that she stated that I only used my kids for money when I had benefits for them. Oh and that I would never work. This was said while I was at a 12 hour veterinary technician shift (this was before I completed my bachelors degree).
We had been friends for over 20 years and she would end it over a difference in opinion. I had not told her that I had suspected I was autistic too in fear of judgement. My instinct was right to hold that back from her.
I am very loyal to all my friends. This took me two years to deal with and be able to accept. After these two years, I came to terms with it and I was ok.
I Saw a Ghost on My Public Page
It was five years since the incident and I really don’t think about it anymore. A mutual friend of ours has been promoting my page which I appreciate. Then I see Jena comment on a meme share. The comment itself was harmless. It was basically to say that she does it too.
I saw who it was immediately. I then immediately blocked her from the page.
I couldn’t help but to think it was because of the recognition or media attention. I do not know if that was it but why would she come out of the woodwork now?
Due to this recognition and media attention I have new found confidence and self esteem. I now know my worth. I was brought up to think I was worthless. I was told to stop trying to save the world. I am glad I did not listen.
I choose who is in my inner circle. Jena, you cast yourself out years ago and I cannot trust you anymore. I cut off my own biological family because they are toxic, what makes me think I will let you back in?