Before I Realized I Was Autistic, I Was a Furry

Before I left home, I was not allowed to be my authentic self. When I left home, I really had to find out who I was. I chose to be in the substance free dorm in college and I met some of the best friends I will ever have. They introduced me to the furry fandom and the world of RPG.  These friend even introduced me to Macs, and I’m so glad they did. 

Growing up at the reject in school, it felt great to have friends but I was unsure how to emotionally regulate. The ones I held onto accepted me for who I was, and I was able to figure it out eventually. 

One of these friends introduced me to the Furry community. How it was first explained to me was that each person picks and animal that resonates with them. For me I knew it was feline but unsure on what it was. I had to do real searching for this. I really needed something to connect to. 

Soon after this, I was looking into White Wolf World of Darkness and I was reading through the Bastet source book. That was the source book on all were cats. As I was reading through it, the Qualmi really spoke to me. That is the lynx. I remember doing a report on the lynx when I was in elementary school because it spoke to me. 

After this gaming session, I went to google to look into them more closely. Everything about them, I really gravitated towards the lynx so I chose the lynx as my fursona. That is a character that you play in the furry world. 

I started drawing myself as a lynx and it was really therapeutic. I started getting better and better at it but I still need to practice. Now that I have the drawing tablet, I will work on drawing it it. I also became drawn because of the art. I love drawing and it was one of my few outlets for creativity. The only thing my parents said I did well at. 

I hung out with a lot of furs in college and I finally belong. It is a lot like the autistic community I think. People have something in common and they really relate to each other. As humans, we crave people to relate to. I really felt like I belonged somewhere. I needed something bigger than the Jewish community as in the small town they really didn’t understand me. 

Do I still consider myself a furry? Sure but I am not as involved in it as I used to be. I will always be a lynx at heart. I know a lot of people would be curious if I ever got involved in the sexual side of the fandom? No, it was never my cup of tea but I would never judge people who do. 

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