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Moving from Survival Mode When That is All You Have Ever Known
Survival As a Child
Ever since I can remember, I was always in survival mode. Most people think of being poor as being in survival mode, but how I started off was much more than that.
If you saw my family, you would think we were a “normal” family. A Herero couple, a daughter and two sons. One of the little boys had a neck tick and everything else was normal if some people did not give it a second glance.
I was being bullied by one of my brothers and my parents thought it was funny. I will not get into the details. I was physically, mentally and emotionally abused by my parents because I was not normal. The irony is that I think my father is autistic.
I was in ABA from when I was young for about five years. I was always not good enough. My family had more than enough money but I was always “not worthy” of a lot of things, including affection. I am convinced this is the main reason I do not like to be touched.
Survival as a Young Adult
After I graduated high school, i left home to the furthest state college away from where I grew up but still being in New York State. I needed the in state tuition but being safely away from the family that raised me.
I was free of them. They could not get me in the mountains. But i was constantly on my guard and did not know how to exist on my own. I was lucky and my college roommate taught me basic life skills.
I had a basic paranoia. I thought people would leave me if I wasn’t who they wanted to be. To me, this was survival.
One holiday, my parents refused to let me come home and I was scared. A great friend of mine and her parents took me in so I had someplace to go. I am still forever grateful. I( still talk to her and her mom.
Soon after that, Nick and I met. We then got an apartment together with a roommate. This way I would have a place to go when school wasn’t in session. We were always hurting for money but we had each other and I was safe. His mom was always a strong support system and I am so grateful for her too.
Survival After Being Married and Moving to Florida
We had no idea what would happen moving to a different state. My parents were snowbirds there and Nick had gotten a better job and it was worth picking up and moving.
After we had kids (with much help from my doctor), we cut my parents out of our Iives for good when they would not respect my kids boundaries and expected me to reprimand them. Absolutely not.
I was always worried when I was out and about that I would run into them. I was always on my guard. I would check each parking lot for both their cars to make sure they weren’t there.
I was only able to relax during the half the year they were not in Florida. I was always worried about money because my parents told me I would never be able to do anything without them.
After a lot of therapy, I was able to take back a lot of my life after I kicked them out of my life.
Then the housing crisis in South Florida happened. I made decent money from my pet sitting business but it still was not enough to survive where we were at. Our rent went up $1,000 per month in one year. There was no way we could make this work. We had to do something. There had to be a change.
We both looked at houses back home in the Adirondack’s. We saw this house that was an assisted living house. Fully accessible but had 12 bedrooms. Each child could have their own room. This would be a dream for us.
I contacted the realtor, coincidentally was the owner’s son. He took us on a video walk through and we fell in love with the place. They arranged it so we could move in and rent it until we could buy it. Not only that, they would be paying for all utilities and providing snow removal. They even come by and salt our front porch because they heard that I fall pretty easily on the ice. I had arranged to get my old job back and that was not difficult.
I took in as many pets as I could. I worked 7 days a week to make sure we were able to get back. It took a lot of logistics, planning and money to get all 10 of us up to Upstate New York.
Transition to Life in New York
We moved at the end of November after getting rid of 75% of our belongings to make the move cheaper and easier. We only kept the kids belonging that they really wanted, irreplaceable things and things we absolutely needed.
Nick and I each drive Nissan Leafs. That means we had to stop 22 times to charge on the way up there and stop for 3 nights each.
Nick wanted me to leave first because I had all the pets and four of the kids. He handled moving our belongings up there between a mover and 2 Uboxes from Uhaul.
My car was packed but we drove up there with a friend and her son. I had gotten her a job where I used to work. We were set to start on December 12th.
The ride up was pretty uneventful. We had SNAP saved up to eat on the road. All we really needed to pay for was electricity and a place to stay for the night that was pet friendly.
The last night, I was worried about Nick and my other kids having enough money to get home. I drove for 24 straight hours from Virginia all the way to the house.
When we got there, I was worried how we would survive. The kids social security barely paid the bills but we had to eat. The DSS here was taking forever and I could not wait for them.
I wound up doing instacart deliveries just to bring money in for food while I was waiting to start my job. I was burned out and exhausted. I was worried about spending 1 dollar on something. I was trying to hide my worry from the kids, but they knew. I hadn’t opened my gaming PC since November. I was worried if I wasn’t working, my family would suffer.
After I started my job, I learned that I would not get paid for 3 weeks. I had to work full time and do instacart. When I wasn’t working, I was sleeping. The kids barely saw me.
What kept me going? My kids, my partner, knowing this was temporary and y’all. Y’all donated money for us to buy food so i could get a few days rest and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it!
Two of my paychecks were spent paying for moving expenses. The second paycheck had to go in almost its entirety to paying Uhaul for the uboxes. I reached out to the local community to get us through 3 days so we could have food. The whole community reached out and helped. I was blown away by the community. We used to live here I should have known better.
Our holiday season was hard because I could not afford it. The kids were all happy with a cheap toy from 5 Below. They understood and I felt like I was the luckiest person in this world with kids like these.
Not Needing to be in Survival Mode Anymore
After my third paycheck, we started buying things we needed for the house on market place, groceries (especially the snacks the kids wanted and missed for so long because we could not afford it). After we were all set up in the house, I started to work on my credit. I was paying down loans, getting our cars current, paying back charge offs because when we have credit pulled for the mortgage they do not want to see us owing anything on anything except credit cards, our cars, current loans, etc.
The owner of the house wanted to know the plan on purchasing. We told them that we maxed our credit cards out due to our situation down in Florida but we have been paying things off. Our credit has been going up and they are being extremely patient.
As of now, we received our tax refund, paid off half of our credit cards, both cars are current, paid off 2 loans, etc. We are almost out of bad debt. This feels like a dream.
I was finally able to afford to get my kids haircuts, the dogs to the dog groomer, etc. These are the basic things everyone needs. We shouldn’t have to worry about these things.
About a week ago, I asked my partner if I should buy an iPad, Beats ear buds (for the hearing accommodation with an iPhone), new gaming headset and a new controller.
I fully expected him to tell me not to. I fully wanted him to tell me no. Instead he said yes I need these things. After I placed the order, I felt extremely selfish. Everyone I told yelled at me and that I deserved all these things.
This is when I realized we made it. I am making more than enough money to get us the basic necessities and a lot of the kids wants. Not only that, I do enjoy my job.
What is my job? I support disabled people in supportive housing. I am able to level with them and I am extremely open about my own disabilities and they respect me for it.
It doesn’t feel like work. I love going to work each day but I am happy to be home with my family when I am not at work.
After being able to buy an expensive toy for myself, it dawned on me. We don’t need to be in survival mode anymore but there is one problem. We don’t know how to not be in survival mode.
My parents don’t know where we are. We are financially stable. We are happy. The kids love going to school here. They are often spending time with friends on the weekend. None of this happened before and it’s overwhelming thinking about it.
A few people suggest EDMR therapy. I am definitely going to be looking into this.
I ran into people that i knew before I moved and it was great to see them again. I know we are going to be ok. I just need to know how to be ok.
Service Dogs are Not Licensed in the United States. A Story and What the Law Really Says
This is long overdue. Most people already know, my family and I made the long trip to move from south Florida to upstate New York. We have been here for about a month. I had altitude sickness and worked a lot in order to keep everyone fed and I finally was able to rest.
On the last night of our trip, we stayed at a hotel. It was a suite and I had four of my kids with me. I traveled with a friend of mine for whom I got a job where I am working now. We were both going to start at the same time so we had to be up here. My husband and other four kids started out a few days later and finalized things with the mover.
My friend and her son are also autistic.
It said no pets but we all know service dogs are the exception to this rule. I had 2 and she had 1. This hotel was the Comfort Inn and Suites at Virginia Center in Glen Alen, Virginia. I thought this was perfect because they had a level two charging station on site and I would not have to rapid charge in the morning and we could cover as much ground as possible.
We checked in, it was late. The kids and I were tired. I mentioned we had service dogs. The person at the front desk said she would add that to our file. That was it. We had a good night.
Then came the next morning.
My friend knew I was sore from driving and the cold so she took the dogs out for a walk. The front desk person was badgering her. I was cleaning up and getting things packed up to leave. She came and told me what was going on. I thought I could be diplomatic.
I then walked down there and explained that I spoke to someone last night and that we had service dogs. She then complained that I filled out the form online wrong when reserving it for all of us. It was a suite and it can sleep more than how many people we had.
She then demanded to see insignia and a license. I explained to her that service animals are not licensed in the united state. I sent her an image of Lily and Mikey’s harnesses. I have them marked but it is not required. Just to make our lives easier.
They were going to get the manager. She also said that since she has a dog she knows there is a licensing registry for service dogs. I will address this in a bit.
I told her that I am a licensed Veterinary Technologist. I think I know a lot more about dogs and the laws surrounding them than she does. I also have a connective tissue disorder and am autistic. My friend is autistic and our children are neurodivergent.
She actually asked us why we needed 3. You cannot ask why we need the service dogs. You cannot ask what our disabilities are but I answered anyway. There were seven of us. We could have one for each person if we needed it.
Then she had the gall to tone police me and tell me people don’t raise their voices in there. My civil rights were being violated.
I then got sarcastic and asked if she wanted our medical records too. I then threw the card key on the desk. I said “thanks for the free breakfast you are denying me.” And we walked out and packed the kids in the car.
As I got the kids in there, they were watching us outside. Like it was unbelievable that I had to unplug my car from its charger and had to make sure the kids were safe before leaving.
What the Americans With Disabilities Act Actually Says About Service Animals
This person I had the displeasure of interacting with was full of misinformation and can really threaten someone’s life.
Here is what the ADA actually says about service animals:
ADA Requirements: Service Animals
Last updated: February 24, 2020
The Department of Justice published revised final regulations implementing the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) for title II (State and local government services) and title III (public accommodations and commercial facilities) on September 15, 2010, in the Federal Register. These requirements, or rules, contain updated requirements, including the 2010 Standards for Accessible Design (2010 Standards).
This publication provides guidance on the term “service animal” and the service animal provisions in the Department’s regulations.
- Beginning on March 15, 2011, only dogs are recognized as service animals under titles II and III of the ADA.
- A service animal is a dog that is individually trained to do work or perform tasks for a person with a disability.
- Generally, title II and title III entities must permit service animals to accompany people with disabilities in all areas where members of the public are allowed to go.
How “Service Animal” Is Defined
Service animals are defined as dogs that are individually trained to do work or perform tasks for people with disabilities. Examples of such work or tasks include guiding people who are blind, alerting people who are deaf, pulling a wheelchair, alerting and protecting a person who is having a seizure, reminding a person with mental illness to take prescribed medications, calming a person with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) during an anxiety attack, or performing other duties. Service animals are working animals, not pets. The work or task a dog has been trained to provide must be directly related to the person’s disability. Dogs whose sole function is to provide comfort or emotional support do not qualify as service animals under the ADA.
This definition does not affect or limit the broader definition of “assistance animal” under the Fair Housing Act or the broader definition of “service animal” under the Air Carrier Access Act.
Some State and local laws also define service animal more broadly than the ADA does. Information about such laws can be obtained from the relevant State attorney general’s office.
Where Service Animals Are Allowed
Under the ADA, State and local governments, businesses, and nonprofit organizations that serve the public generally must allow service animals to accompany people with disabilities in all areas of the facility where the public is allowed to go. For example, in a hospital it usually would be inappropriate to exclude a service animal from areas such as patient rooms, clinics, cafeterias, or examination rooms. However, it may be appropriate to exclude a service animal from operating rooms or burn units where the animal’s presence may compromise a sterile environment.
Service Animals Must Be Under Control
A service animal must be under the control of its handler. Under the ADA, service animals must be harnessed, leashed, or tethered, unless the individual’s disability prevents using these devices or these devices interfere with the service animal’s safe, effective performance of tasks. In that case, the individual must maintain control of the animal through voice, signal, or other effective controls.
Inquiries, Exclusions, Charges, and Other Specific Rules Related to Service Animals
When it is not obvious what service an animal provides, only limited inquiries are allowed. Staff may ask two questions: (1) is the dog a service animal required because of a disability, and (2) what work or task has the dog been trained to perform. Staff cannot ask about the person’s disability, require medical documentation, require a special identification card or training documentation for the dog, or ask that the dog demonstrate its ability to perform the work or task.
- Allergies and fear of dogs are not valid reasons for denying access or refusing service to people using service animals. When a person who is allergic to dog dander and a person who uses a service animal must spend time in the same room or facility, for example, in a school classroom or at a homeless shelter, they both should be accommodated by assigning them, if possible, to different locations within the room or different rooms in the facility.
- A person with a disability cannot be asked to remove his service animal from the premises unless: (1) the dog is out of control and the handler does not take effective action to control it or (2) the dog is not housebroken. When there is a legitimate reason to ask that a service animal be removed, staff must offer the person with the disability the opportunity to obtain goods or services without the animal’s presence.
- Establishments that sell or prepare food must generally allow service animals in public areas even if state or local health codes prohibit animals on the premises.
- People with disabilities who use service animals cannot be isolated from other patrons, treated less favorably than other patrons, or charged fees that are not charged to other patrons without animals. In addition, if a business requires a deposit or fee to be paid by patrons with pets, it must waive the charge for service animals.
- If a business such as a hotel normally charges guests for damage that they cause, a customer with a disability may also be charged for damage caused by himself or his service animal.
- Staff are not required to provide care for or supervision of a service animal.
In addition to the provisions about service dogs, the Department’s ADA regulations have a separate provision about miniature horses that have been individually trained to do work or perform tasks for people with disabilities. (Miniature horses generally range in height from 24 inches to 34 inches measured to the shoulders and generally weigh between 70 and 100 pounds.) Entities covered by the ADA must modify their policies to permit miniature horses where reasonable. The regulations set out four assessment factors to assist entities in determining whether miniature horses can be accommodated in their facility. The assessment factors are (1) whether the miniature horse is housebroken; (2) whether the miniature horse is under the owner’s control; (3) whether the facility can accommodate the miniature horse’s type, size, and weight; and (4) whether the miniature horse’s presence will not compromise legitimate safety requirements necessary for safe operation of the facility.
For more information about the ADA, please visit ADA.gov or call our toll-free number.
ADA Information Line 800-514-0301 (Voice) and 1-833-610-1264 (TTY) M-W, F 9:30 a.m. – 12:00 p.m. and 3:00 p.m. – 5:30 p.m., Th 2:30 p.m. – 5:30 p.m. (Eastern Time) to speak with an ADA Specialist. Calls are confidential.
For persons with disabilities, this publication is available in alternate formats. Duplication of this document is encouraged.
Originally issued: July 12, 2011
Last updated: February 24, 2020
How Our Dogs Were In Compliance
- They were under our control
- They are trained to perform tasks related to our neurodivergenices and my EDS
How the Hotel Staff was Not in Compliance
- Demanded to know why we have service dogs
- Asked what our diagnosis was
- Demanded proof they were service dogs
- Our dogs were neither out of control or not housebroken. They were being taken to the bathroom while my friend was being harassed about them.
- They demanded licenses with serial numbers when there is no such thing
Other establishments need to learn from this situation. They made an already stressful situation worse. We were moving because we could no longer afford to live in Florida. These kids were being uprooted from one climate to another.
The only good thing is that they did not try to charge us their pet fee.
Beware of Scams Websites that Promise a “registry” For Service Dogs and ESA
All over social media, there are companies that want to take your money in exchange for registering your dog as a service dog or an emotional support dog.
These are scams, do not do it. Again, there is no such thing as a registry for service dogs. These companies send a vest, an ID with a photo of your dog with their made-up license numbers. These fool people who do not know any better. If you see these advertised on Facebook or anywhere else, do not do it. It’s the same thing as flushing your money down the toilet.
For an ESA, all you need is a note from your doctor saying that you or your child needs one. That is all that is needed for your apartment or home.
Quack Exposed: Roger Blake
Roger Blake is from Auckland, New Zealand. He is the President of New Zealand Shipping Company Association. He is also a Director of Water Purifier LTD.
Blake attended the Gilbert School in Colchester in England. He studied English, Math, Physics, and Geography. He was in Football and Cricket.
Blake describes himself as a bishop of the Genesis 2 Church of Health and Healing.
Medsafe Warning About MMS
Do not consume Miracle Mineral Solution products, including for the prevention or treatment of COVID-19 disease. These products can cause dangerous and potentially life-threatening side effects.
Reminder: Miracle Mineral Solution has dangerous and potentially life-threatening side effects
8 April 2022
Medsafe has recently received a report of someone requiring intensive care unit (ICU) treatment after taking Miracle Mineral Solution with the intention of treating COVID-19 disease. Medsafe is again warning consumers not to take these products.
Miracle Mineral Solution products, also described on associated websites as water purification solutions, are promoted as effective destroyers of pathogens, fungi, disease, bacteria and viruses, and more recently, COVID-19. Medsafe is not aware of any scientific evidence that these products are effective against pathogens in the body when the product is consumed.
These products contain a high concentration of sodium chlorite, which is used for textile bleaching and as a disinfectant. When mixed as directed, the sodium chlorite develops into chlorine dioxide – a bleach that can cause dangerous and potentially life-threatening side effects when consumed.
- Do not buy or consume (drink) Miracle Mineral Solution products or associated products described as water purification solutions. Consuming these products is the same as drinking bleach.
- When consumed, these products can cause nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea and symptoms of severe dehydration. These may be life-threatening, and you should seek medical advice as soon as possible.
- These products are not approved medicines. Their quality and efficacy are unknown, and we recommend not taking them. There is no evidence that these products are effective for the prevention or treatment of COVID-19.
- Please report side effects to Miracle Mineral Solution and associated water purification solutions to the Centre for Adverse Reactions Monitoring (CARM).
Miracle Mineral Solution products or associated water purification solutions are not approved medicines. Medsafe is not aware of any research carried out to assess the quality and efficacy of these products.
Medsafe has previously warned consumers about Miracle Mineral Solution products.
Other medicines regulators have issued warnings following false claims about effectiveness and reports of harm to consumers (see below). Reports of harm included severe vomiting and diarrhoea, life-threatening low blood pressure caused by dehydration and acute liver failure.
COVID Infected MMS User Admitted to ICU
In New Zealand, there was a covid positive patient that was admitted to a New Zealand hospital ICU after consuming a dangerous industrial bleach. Nothing other than MMS, of course.
According to Chris James, a group manager of Medsafe NZ, the case involved a covid positive New Zealander who had “attempted to treat themselves with a water purification solution. There is absolutely no evidence that these products are an effective treatment for COVID 19 or any other pathogens within the body. In fact, ingesting these products can cause dangerous and potentially life threatening side effects, such as acute liver failure.”
No other information is available about this patient.
Bleach Cult Bishop Prosecuted in New Zealand
The criminal prosecution of Blake, who sold bleach as ac cure for cancer, HIV and COVID 19. He filed an appeal to have his case paused. It was denied.
He calls himself a “living man, Roger-william, house of Blake.”He failed his bid to appeal a High Court decision defining a halt in his criminal case. He sounds just like Mark Grenon with his nonsense.
According to the New Zealand medical researcher Dr. Shaun Holt, the chemicals sold by Blake were “very dangerous” and he was surprised it had taken so long for Medsafe to act (much like the FDA). It has been known that Blake had been selling MMS since 2011.
In July 2020, the police searched two properties associated with Blake and NZ Water Purifier LTD. Blake was director of this company based in Hauraki Plains. This company violated the Medicines Act 1981. It prohibits sale, distribution and advertisement of new medicines without consent and possessing prescription medication “without reasonable excuse.”
The maximum penalty for advertising an unapproved medicine was a maximum of $100,000 for a corporate body, $200,000 for an individual or a term imprisionment not exceeding six months.
Medsafe (NZ FDA) administers the act. According to the law, it is unlawful to make therapeutic claims about an unproven medicine.
Charges were filed against Blake and NZ Water Purifier LTD five months later.
Blake’s Negate property was searched five days after the raid by the FDA in Florida. Four months later, Blake launched a judicial review against the police, Medsafe, and the Thames District Court and 9 other people. He claimed the warrants were unlawful “fishing expeditions.”
In February 2022, Blake tried to stop the prosecution while waiting for the results of the judicial review with the High Court.
He then applied to the Court of Appeal to overturn the decision on “all aspects” of the High Court judge’s decision. Blake claimed this was “biased and ignorant of the facts.”
This appeal was rejected as well.
The senior court said in the most recent judgement that the High Court had ruled previously that a stay wasn’t appropriate in this case.
“Something exceptional is required to entertain such a challenge and, the judge reasoned, the same must also be true when a stay is sough pending such a challenge,” stated in the decision.
The judge believed that Blake’s arguments “fell short of the high threshold.”
In his application to the Court of Appeal, many of his grounds said that the High Court judge made errors related to Blake’s “actual name/status/fictional personage” and status as a “Minister of G-d’s Word.”
He also alleged that the police, courts and Medsafe had admitted wrongdoing on their execution of the search warrants, which was rejected by all parties.
The “living man” did not meet the high threshold needed to stay a prosecution with a stay application according to the ruling of the senior court.
“Submissions based on contracts like a ‘living man’ who is somehow separate from the actual person have been squarely rejected,” stated in the decision.
In an internet post, Blake said that Medsafe was “conducting further investigations” and not told him how long it would take.
Blake is scheduled for court on November 25.
There is a fundraiser for his defense that needs reporting:
Having a Hard Time Transitioning Isn’t Just For Children
Having trouble transitioning is a common characteristic of an autistic child. What does this look like for an adult? It is not the same but it’s similar. For adults, it’s transitioning to a big life change. For example, in my life is a huge move, and having to shut down my business that I have been building for almost 9 years.
Decision to Move
My husband and I made the decision to move our large neurodivergent family from South Florida to the Adirondack Mountains due to the cost of living. Our rent went up by close to $1000 in one year. If we stay, we would not afford to live. Moving will cause a huge change for our family.
Soon after we made this decision, I applied for my old job that I had before we relocated to Florida. I got hired immediately. I have a job for when we move. That is a good thing. I hadn’t worked for them in 15 years, though.
Why This is difficult When It Is the Right Thing
My husband and I have lived in South Florida for 15 years. I built a business over the past 9 years. I poured my whole life into building my pet care business. I am a veterinary technologist. Most vets could not relate to me and fired me. Florida is a right-to-work state so they did not need a reason to fire me.
I have built an extensive client list. My clients have treated me like family. A few years ago I had tendonitis of the Achilles tendon. One of my clients is a doctor in a nearby hospital and told me to take a short walk behind her condo so I don’t overdo it. As I was walking her dogs, her neighbor was freaking out that the dogs were pooping in the grass and I was picking it up. He then started yelling at me. I said I was sorry and I went back to my client’s house.
Then I texted my client to warn her about what happened. She then proceeded to scream at this neighbor because of what he did. He subsequently moved out.
So when it comes to my business, it’s a piece of me. The other day, it hit me that I will be closing it down. It caused many meltdowns and shutdowns. I build this. It was a part of me. It feels like I am losing a child.
How It has Effected Us
I started to pack and sort everything. This started over 6 weeks before our move. I first started with the garage, then our bedroom. I packed up the china cabinet and other chatskis. I was doing all of this way before we move and it started to freak the kids out.
After this was said to me, of course, I internalized it all and thought I was an awful parent. I am always wondering if I am doing the right thing. I have a strong support system to reassure me and I really need that.
I am having a lot more PTSD episodes. Everything the kids do have been causing a flashback. It’s nothing that they did, I am just more sensitive now to triggers that cause these flashbacks. Just joking around with my oldest child, I have flashbacks of being the scared little child waiting for my father to come to abuse me. My mother never put her hands on me but my father did. My mother just said things over and over again to make me feel bad about myself.
After being talked to by my partner, we scheduled a psychiatrist’s appointment. I talked to the doctor and she said she can help me with medication to help with this. I start it tomorrow. We will see how it helps.
What I Realized
I recognized that I have a hard time with transitions. The process of moving is extremely stressful. When I have the plan to do anything, I am in a hurry to get it done so I am not in a transition period. The transition period is the hardest for me and a lot of the members of my family.
I am sure we are not the only neurodivergent family that experiences it. We always tell the kids that we will be much happier after the move takes place and we are in our bigger house. If you are going through a big transition, give yourself some grace. I did not do that and it affected everyone around me.
Kanye’s Antisemitism Didn’t Start With that Tweet
Kanye West has been antisemitic for a long time. It did not come to light, to me anyway because I am not up to date with celebrity news, until this tweet made the news. I dug deeper after seeing this and saw it has been going on for a while. I knew who he was but I did not normally pay attention to his antics.
Kanye West made an extremely antisemitic tweet that said, “I’m a bit sleepy tonight but when I wake up I’m going death con on JEWISH PEOPLE The funny thing is I actually be Anti-Semitic because black people are actually Jew also You guys toyed with me and tried to black ball anyone who opposes your agenda.” At least West was locked out of his Instagram and Twitter accounts due to this goyish meshugaas (non-Jewish nonsense). He tweeted one antisemitic tweet after another.
The post that this was referencing was also antisemitic. It was a text exchange between West and Diddy that was posted on Instagram. West told him, “Ima use you as an example to show the Jewish people that told you to call me that no one can threaten or influence me. I told you this was war.”
In response to his accounts being suspended, he tweeted, “Who do you think invented cancel culture?”
He is referencing Mark Zuckerburg as being Jewish and that Jews invented “cancel culture.” He forgot one thing, Twitter and Facebook are not owned by the same people.
West’s Antisemitism Isn’t Just Recent
In a 2013 radio interview with New York City’s Hip Hop and R &B station Power 105.1 FM, West attempted to explain President Barrack Obama’s inability to gain momentum on his policy priorities in Washington, DC with the statement that,”Black people don’t have the same level of connections as Jewish people.”
Abraham H. Foxman, the director of the Anti-Defamation League said,”If the comments are true as reported, this is classic anti-semitism. There it goes again, the age-old connard that Jews are all powerful and control the levers of power in government. As a celebrity with a wide following, Kanye West should know better. We hope that he will take responsibility for his words, understand why they are so offensive, and apologize to those he has offended.”
West’s full quote was, “Man, let me tell you about George Bush and oil money and Obama and no money. People want to say Obama can’t make these moves or that he’s not executing. that’s because he ain’t got those connections. Black people don’t have the same level of connections as Jewish people. Black People don’t have the same connection as oil people.”
Unaired Tucker Carlson Interview
He made several antisemitic comments and talked about “fake children” invading his home until unaired portions of his Fox News interview with Tucker Carlson were leaked.
He perpetuated several antisemitic conspiracy theories in this interview.
“Planned Parenthood was made by Margeret Sanger, a know eugenics, with the KKK to control the Jew population,” He told Carlson. “When I say Jew, I mean the 12 lost tribes of Judah, the blood of Christ, who the people known as the race Black really are. This is who our people are. The blood of Christ. This, as a Christian, is my belief.”
Sanger who was the founder of Planned Parenthood was a known supporter of eugenics. Planned Parenthood denounced Sanger for her belief in eugenics.
West’s claim about the “Jew population” references the antisemitic Radical Hebrew Israelites. This hate group claims that Jews are “imposters or thieves” and have stolen the identity and birthright of the “true Israelites.”
Who are the Radical Hebrew Israelites?
The Radical Hebrew Israelities use similarities between Jews and other marginalized groups as a foundation for antisemitic beliefs. THey appropriate Jewish heritage to claim exclusive identity as the true chosen people of G-d and decry Jews as imposters and thieves. They seek dominance and not equity and strict adherence to biblical literalism to legitimize their ideology.
They spread their beliefs through street preaching, often harassing people, provoking and shaming any non-Israelite and those of their own community that doesn’t follow their beliefs. This can be queer people of color within their communities.
The Radical Hebrew Israelites have a definite abhorrence of relationships between “Israelites” and white people as they relate them to the devil. This furthers the marginalization but it also parallels the toxic power structures that are common in the far right.
References Antisemitic Conspiracy Theories
The conspiracy theory is that Jewish people control financial institutions when discussing winter holidays that were celebrated at his children’s school.
“My kids are going to a school that teaches Black kids complicated Kwanzaa,” West said. “I prefer my kids knew Hannukah than Kwanzaa. At least it would come with some financial engineering.”
Uses a Strange Metaphor about Jews
West used a strange metaphor when talking about Black people judging one another, “This about judging each other on how white we could talk would be like, you know, a Jewish person judging another Jewish person on how good they danced or something. I mean, that’s probably a bad example and people are going to get mad at that shit. I probably want to edit that out.”
Using Bipolar Disorder as An Excuse to be Antisemitic
It is true, Kanye West has bipolar disorder. There has been a lot of debate online about whether it is due to his being bipolar.
The people that have argued that his bigoted actions cannot be separated from his bipolar and the impulse to “punish” him for hate speech is ableist. They say he needs help. Only one part of this is true, the part that he needs help with his bipolar. Being antisemitic is not a characteristic of having bipolar disorder.
While being impulsive and having egotism are consistent with having a manic episode, West has spoken about his struggles with this mental illness.
There is a huge difference between being mentally ill and being a bigot. Bigotry or antisemitism is not a symptom of bipolar disorder.
People who have mental illnesses are not more prone to be hateful than those who are not mentally ill.
To say he is bigoted due to bipolar disorder promotes stigma against people who have mental illnesses. To excuse his fateful utterances as “harmless amusements” is harmful to both the people he harms and to others who have bipolar disorder.
Holding people accountable for harmful behavior is not to impose suffering on someone who has done wrong. The point is to stop the behaviors from happening again.
It might be possible that his having bipolar disorder led him to embrace and express antisemitic beliefs. His bigoted statements will still hold the power to popularize it due to his influence in the public eye. This is how people could deduce that bipolar disorder caused him to be antisemitic.
Negative social or professional consequences may encourage him to seek mental healthcare or take more precautions to prevent himself from doing harm again.
In his case, this has happened before and he has not changed his behavior. Holding someone accountable for their actions is a must. Holding someone accountable is not an attack.
After These Antisemitic Comments, West Was Invited to Holocaust Museum
Kanye West was invited to the Holocaust Museum in Los Angeles to learn about the dangers of hateful and antisemitic rhetoric. They did this because they wanted to educate him on how dangerous his words are. This is a very Jewish thing to do. Education will cure ignorance in some situations.
In a statement from the Holocaust Museum in LA, “Words matter and words have consequences Ye. We urge you to come visit us at Holocaust Museum LA to understand just how words can incite horrific violence and genocides.
“The Holocaust started with only words that sadly begat stereotypes, racial and religious tropes and blaming others and led to the murder of six million Jews.
“At Holocaust Museum LA it is our mission to commemorate those who were murdered, educate on the Holocaust and all genocides including the genocide perpetrated against the Armenian People (of which your children would be included), and inspire a more dignified and humane world.
“Your words reach millions and you can choose to incite or you can choose to inspire. We are located at 100 The Grove Drive, Los Angeles, CA 90036 and welcome you any time.”
I hope he takes them up on their offer but I am doubtful.
West Rejected The Invitation
Kanye West rejected the invitation he received from the Holocaust Museum of Los Angeles. This invitation was extended in response to his antisemitic rants during the interview with Fox News.
Soon after the unaired antisemitic comments were leaked, he interviewed with a podcast called Drink Champs to talk about it. This episode was taken off Youtube due to its offensive nature.
West said in response, “I want you to visit Planned Parenthood. that’s our Holocaust Museum.”
He also said, “They have been fucking with me for too long. They put the crazy narrative out there. My Jewish trainer put when I went to the hospital in the press.” This is referring to his 2016 manic episode that required hospitalization.
“This is my exact point: Jewish people have owned the Black voice, whether its through us wearing a Ralph Lauren shirt or all of us being signed to a record label or having a Jewish manager or being signed to a Jewish basketball team or doing a movie on a Jewish platform like Disney.”
After all this, he attempts to praise Jewish people but it comes out as antisemitic too.
“I respect what the Jewish people have done and how they brought their people together. They came into money through the lawyers after Wall Street, when all of the Catholics – they wouldn’t divorce people, that’s when they first came into the money.”
“With the darker Jews – the 12 lost tribes of Israel, who we are because we’re Jewish also, we’re from Africa also, we’re the blood of Christ. We’re not just Black, we are Jew just like the Jewish people, and now we’re coming into money.” This refers to “Jewish secrets.” Spoken like the Radical Hebrew Israelites.
The American Jewish Committee (AJC) condemned this podcast. It was hosted by NORE and Revolt TV. The American Jewish Committee said they “proudly touted Kanye’s interview with no condemnation of his antisemitism. Besides the comments themselves, the problem with Kanye’s open antisemitism is the fact that these people and platforms continue to give them the chance to spew hatred.”
“Platforms like Revolt TV cannot shirk their responsibility for the content that they produce and air without commentary. Choosing to allow Kanye to spew antisemitic hatred, even after he threatened all Jewish people, is despicable enough,” added the AJC.
National Coming Out day
October 11 is National Coming Out Day. You can be lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, non-binary, transgender, asexual, queer, or anything in between. It is time to be proud of who you are and your support for queer equality and National Coming Out Day. Over 70% of autistics identify as queer.
This day was inspired by a single march. 500,000 people participated in the March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights on October 11, 1987. It gained momentum to last 4 months after the march ended. During this time, over one hundred LGBTQIA+ identifying people gathered outside Washington, DC, and decided on creating a national day to celebrate coming out.
The first National Coming Out day was on October 11, 1988. Rob Eichberg and Jean O’Leary first proposed the idea of the National Coming Out Day. Eichberg founded a personal growth workshop, The Experience, and O’Leary was the leader of the National Gay Rights Advocates.
Eichberg said the strongest tool in the human rights movement was to illustrate that most people already know and respect someone in the LGBTQIA+ community and the National Coming Out Day helps these people come to light.
He said in an interview, “Most people think they don’t know anyone gay or lesbian, and in fact everybody does. It’s imperative that we come out and let people know who we are and disabuse them of their fears and stereotypes.”
Over the last 15 years, the Human Rights Campaign has chosen a theme for each National Coming Out Day. 2014 and 2013 were themed “Coming Out Still Matters,” and the first theme (1999) was “Come Out to Congress.”
There have been numerous spokespeople for each National Coming Out Day. They include Fraiser actor Dan Butler and Candace Gingrich, half-sister to Newt Gingrich in the 1990s.
National Coming Out day gains popularity and participants each year. Since its inception, countless public figures and celebrities have openly come out as queer. Every year, people share messages of support and hope with those who are still in the closet. This event plans to continue its effort to end hate and queerphobia with friends and family coming out to smash stereotypes.
My Coming Out Story
I was suppressed with who I was as a person due to my experience with ABA as a child. I was afraid of who I was and that I was not good enough.
When I was a young child, I saw a lesbian wedding on News 12 NY because my father always had to watch the news while we ate dinner. I said, “Two girls can get married?! That’s so cool!” I always knew I was different than “other girls.”
As I said this, my parents freaked out.
In 7th grade, someone spread a rumor in my school that I was a lesbian. I did not even know what that word meant. After I found out, remembering how my parents reacted to seeing the wedding on TV, I was in denial for a long time. I was never a lesbian but attracted to more than one gender. I just tried my hardest to be liked by the other kids in my school but after a while, I just kept to myself.
After going away to college, I moved to the Adirondacks. I got married to my husband. My mother came up for a visit. My husband needed the car for something, so my mother drove me to work.
On the way there, I asked her, “What would you do if I was bi?” She told me she wouldn’t want to know. I said nothing for the entire way to work. I never brought it up with her again.
I was left to figure out who I was by myself. I was afraid to say anything to my husband and that was the worst thing I could have done. He wound up being really accepting.
After getting involved with the autistic community, I realized feeling different was because I was non-binary but it took me years to come to this realization.
So during pride month, I made this post on my private Facebook page and my public one:
“TW: suicide, me being suicidal
To end Mental Health Awareness month, I did some self-reflection. The more I think about it, the more I realize my partner and his family saved my life. I am serious.
When I tripped on him that day at the college dorm, I was really at my lowest. My own family didn’t want me home and I was really rescued by them. I was suicidal. If my own family didn’t want me, what was the point?
I hadn’t come up with a plan yet. I grew up in a loveless family and always made to believe everything was my fault, and questioning my existence.
As we grew together, and got engaged one month after meeting (yes I KNOW), we grew together. I met his mom who became my mom for all intents and purposes.
As we grew together, I started to unpack the trauma I had been burying all these years. He helped me figured out that I was autistic, he helped me kick my toxic family to the curb.
In living like that, I became who my family wanted me to be and I had to discover who I was. He has been so supportive through that. Experimenting with different things that I wasn’t sure worked for me and I had to figure that out.
The one time my mother had a visit to up state NY, I asked her in the car,”What would you do if I told you I was bi?” She said “I wouldn’t want to know”
Years later after having children, adopting children and getting involved with the autistic community, I discovered I am non binary. But I questioned it FOR YEARS.
I was back and forth with it. Even with that, my partner has been so supportive. He even helped me put up our jewish pride flag, which really needs to be replaced because it has seen better days.
I don’t think anyone would have put up with that. (For those wondering, I am keeping the title Mom because it did not come easy for me. I worked so hard for it, I am not giving it up. )
Even when I did talk to my mother and she offered to help me kill myself, he stepped in. When I say he saved my life, I am serious.
We are going on 21 years and still going strong. He pushed me to see a psychiatrist to get on medication because for a long time, I didn’t think I deserved it. I am so happy I did. I am feeling so much better
Right now I feel so lucky to have him and all my children in my life. I really couldn’t be happier.
It’s so appropriate that Mental Health Month goes right into Pride Month.”
After I came out, I got an email from my Rabbi. I had mentioned that our Jewish pride flag was getting tattered and has seen other days. He offered to replace it. I was so emotional because my whole life as a child, I was never accepted for who I was.
To this day, my husband is super supportive. Even bought our genderfluid child pride ice cream without looking at the flavor. It was funny for all but they loved the ice cream.
This is such a contrast between how I was treated growing up and watching my kids being free to be who they are.
Jewish Holiday: Sukkot
Five days after Yom Kippur, is the holiday called Sukkot. Sukkot is from the 15th day of Tishrei to the 21st day of Tishrei. It is named for the booths or huts (Sukkot in Hebrew) where Jews are supposed to dwell during a week-long celebration. It is meant to symbolize the huts that the Israelites lived in while wandering the desert for 40 years. Sukkot is one of three pilgrimage festivals (chaggim or regalim) of the Jewish calendar.
This is the only holiday that seems to not commemorate a historic event.
History of Sukkot
Sukkot originated from an ancient autumnal harvest festival. It is often referred to as hag ha-aif, “The Harvest Festival.” The imagery of the holiday and ritual of the holiday revolves around rejoicing and thanking G-d for the completed harvest. The sukkah represents the hut that farmers would live in during the harvest. In other festivals whose origins are not Jewish, the Bible reinterpreted the festival to imbue it with Jewish meaning.
Sukkot commemorates the wanderings of the Israelites in the desert after the reveal at Mount Sinai, with huts representing the temporary shelters that they lived in for 40 years.
Sukkot at Home
Many popular rituals of Sukkot are practiced at home. As soon as Yom Kippur ends, the sukkah is normally put up. The Sukkah is a flimsy structure with at least three sides. The roof is made from thatch, branches, or palm fronds. This provides some shade and protection from the sun. It also allows the stars to be seen at night. It is traditional to decorate the sukkah, usually with fruit and crafts. Meals are normally eaten in the sukkah, weather-providing. Some people opt to sleep in the sukkah, it really depends on the climate or how tough you are.
In a welcoming ceremony called ushpizin, ancestors are symbolically invited to partake in the meals with us. In commemoration of the bounty of Israel, we hold and shake the lulav and etrog.
The lulav is made from palm, myrtle, and willow. The etrog is also called a citron.
Sukkot in the Community
Services play an important role in the communal celebration of Sukkot. In addition to special festive readings, including Psalms of praise (Hallel) on Sukkot, additional prayers are included to ask G-d to save us (hoshana, from where we get the English word hosanna). During the Hoshana prayers, congregants march around the synagogue sanctuary holding the lulav and etrog.
The first two days are called Yom Tov. These are the only days where work is forbidden, candles are lit in the evening and festive meals are preceded with Kiddush and include challah dipped in honey.
Hol Hamoed (Intermediate days of ) Sukkot
During these days of Sukkot, one is allowed to pursue normal activities. Sukkot is a working holiday. At the same time, they are supposed to hold and wave the lulav and etrog on a daily basis, eat one’s meals in the sukkah and continue to live in the sukkah for the remainder of the holiday.
The Final Two Days
The last two days (one day in Israel) of Sukkot is called Simchah Torah or Shemini Atzret. Simchah Torah is when the last Torah portion is read right before the first one. The Torah tells us after seven days of Sukkot, we should celebrate the eighth day. The highlight of this holiday is the boisterous singing and dancing in the synagogue, as the Torah scrolls are paraded in circles around the bimah.
Podcast Episode: ABA, The History, My Experience, and What Happens When We are Silenced
What is Stimming or Self Stimulatory Behavior
Autistic people regulate themselves differently than neurotypical people do. It is a known fact. For decades, neurotypical people have been trying to reduce the frequency with which autistic people stim, ultimately eliminating it. Why? It makes them appear different than their peers.
What is Stimming?
Stimming is self-stimulatory behavior. It is a repetitive body movement or noise. It is to control sensory input in order to self-regulate. It is one of the first autism signs that are noticed in children. It is seen across just about everyone who is autistic. Stimming is not harmful but neurotypical people may find it hard to understand.
Some examples of stimming are:
- hand and finger movements such as finger flicking and hand flapping
- body movements such as rocking back and forth while sitting or standing
- posturing such as holding hands or finger out at an angle or arching the back while sitting
- visual stimulation such as looking at something sideways, watching an object spin, or fluttering fingers near the eyes
- repetitive behavior such as opening and closing doors, flicking switches
- chewing or mouthing objects
- listening to the same song or noise on repeat
- squeezing a plushie
- nail biting
- hair twirling
- spinning in circles
- repeating words or phrases
- hard blinking
- finger snapping
- covering and uncovering the ears
Why do Autistic People Stim?
I can only speak for myself. I was diagnosed at 32 years old and I have been stimming my whole life and had no idea that is what I was doing. These behaviors feel good, help me regulate, reduce anxiety, etc. We also stim when we are excited and happy. It is also done to destract us from pain.
Julia Bascom of ASAN has said,”Stimming is a way we can help ourselves feel calm, soothed or focused, but it can also be a huge source of joy or beauty. I don’t know what joy feels like to neurotypical people. I think it might be a little like dancing, or seeing a beautiful piece or art, or becoming totally engrossed in a piece of music times 10. But we can get it just from flapping our hands.”
Autistic people often have sensory processing disorder. We are either over or under-stimulated by sensory stimuli. A strong odor could cause sensory overload. This is called being hypersensitive
When we are under-stimulated by sensory stimuli, this is called hyposensitive.
Some examples of how I Stim:
- I have one playlist on my car radio I keep on repeat
- On my steering wheel, I have a Totoro steering wheel cover with a plushie wrapped around it. I play with it while driving so I can focus better
- I have a bed full of squishmallows so I can sleep.
- I squeeze a plushie, I also keep a plushie keychain on my keys so I have it wherever I go
- I watch my fidget spinner just spin. It isn’t the act of spinning it but it’s watching it spin.
- I scroll on my phone without really reading what is on social media
- In the game, Sea of Thieves, I cause as many explosions as I possibly can. The golden skeletons are shiny and shimmer when they are blown up.
- I interlock my fingers and pull my hands apart when I am feeling anxious. Even though it does cause some pain, it does help.
There is some stimming that can be harmful
Some stims have the potential to be harmful and that person may need help managing them and finding a replacement stim so they do not hurt themselves. They may need a change in the envirnment that is causing them to stim in a way that is harmful. There may be a stressor that needs to be eliminated.
Examples of these are :
- excessive self-rubbing or self scratching
- excessive nail biting
- head banging
- hand biting
- ear clapping
- slapping or hitting themselves
The Harm of Stopping Autistics From Stimming
As said earlier, stimming is essential for autistic existence. There is harm in trying to stop it. It is an equivalent of telling a neurotypical person not to cry when they are feeling really upset, in pain, sad, or grief. If it is said to someone who is experiencing pain, it is looked at as being unempathetic. The same should be applied to if someone gets an autistic person to stop stimming.
There was a study put out by the University of London. Dr. Rebecca Charlotn and her student Gabrielle Nwardu. At Goldsmiths, University of London, researchers analyzed a survey given to autistic adults . They surveyed 340 adults. 160 adults had a clinical diagnosis, 139 suspected to be autistic and 41 people were not autistic. The survey was to explore how stimming is used to help self-regulate during times of sensory overload.
This study found for many autistic adults, stimming means expressing both positive and negative emotions. It is a way to find a cognitive distraction. There are also worries over how other people perceive the behavior. This led to feelings of discomfort and attempts to stop.
A higher percentage of autistic adults participants experienced sensory sensitivity and used stimming than non-autistic adults. This experience and behavior were found to occur in non-autistic adults too. 28% of non-autistic adults who began the survey said they stimmed and went on to complete questions on this behavior.
There were participants that described stimming as helping them to “realign energy in my body better,” a way to “relieve a build-up feelings before I get overwhelmed,” a “calming,” “safe,” or “soothing,” action or something that “can also be pleasant.”
84% of autistic participants had been told not to stim or stop repetitive movement. Social pressure was a reason given for suppressing stimming, and this suppression had a negative effect on emotions and cognition.
75% of self-diagnosed autistics said they did not always stim in their preferred way, with most saying that it is because they think other people do not consider it socially acceptable.
“I don’t want to get in trouble or distract my coworkers or being embarrassed,” said one 36 year old participant.
Dr. Rebecca Charlton said,”Our research suggests that sensory sensitivities are common and associated with stimming and that stimming generally has positive effects for individuals by helping them self-regulate. But we also found that suppressing stims is very common, occurs due to social pressure, and has negative effects on individuals. These conclusions are relevant to all three groups who took part in the study
Understanding the negative impact of both suppressing stims and the social pressure to do so, may be an important step in promoting acceptance of stims. Increasing understanding and acceptance of stims, so that people can stim freely, is likely to have a positive effect on a wide range of individuals.”
The History of Why Neurotypicals Try to Stop Stimming
For decades, neurotypicals who did not understand stimming have been trying to stop it to make us “indistinguishable” from our peers. That was the original goal of ABA.
There is no reason to stop an autistic person from stimming. They aren’t hurting anyone, including themselves. Mind your own business is a good rule to follow.
Ivar Lovaas, the originator of the practices and ideas of ABA, saw stimming at an obstacle to normalization. He originally got involved with “treating” autistic children who stimmed by injuring themselves. He used electric shocks to try to stop it. He is who we have to thank for the Judge Rotenberg Center for using it today.
Lovaas sought to eliminate stimming as a whole. In the book neurotribes, Steve Silberman said that Lovaas “would say things like, ‘they have eyes, they have ears, they have noses. But they’re not really people. You have the raw materials of a person, but you have to build the person.’”
Lovaas called stimming garbage behavior. He believed that if a child was stimming, they were unable to learn. Lovaas came to this conclusion because children in his labs were in conditions of extreme stress. The stress of being there was likely the cause of the children not being able to learn. Not the stimming. The stress was the cause of the stimming.
It is known now that it makes more executive functioning resources available in the cortex. It enhances the potential to learn.
Since then, there are articles upon articles on how to stop stiming. Not all of them are accurate but they prey on parents who just want to help their kids. These parents are unaware of what benefit stimming can bring.